Beach Bums

If the Better Business Bureau were ever to do a seminar on how to identify false advertising, Ultimate Beach Soccer should be their centerpiece. With the word "beach" in the title and a cover adorned by two bikini-clad women you would think Ultimate Beach Soccer was just another title trying to capitalize on the popularity of other hormone-enraging titles such as DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball or Outlaw Volleyball. Unfortunately, like those games the gameplay absolutely sucks in UBV, but there isn’t a single digital gal to give at least the guys some relief. What we’re left with instead is a … Continue reading Beach Bums

Fire it up!

Flaming ‘ell. Remember when the only thing you wanted to do was become a fire fighter, but your mom wouldn’t let you because it was too dangerous? Well, now you can be the fire fighter you’ve always wanted to be. Emergency Fire Response puts the men of the 615th Fire Station at your disposal, as all manner of lethal, hot under the collar situations ensue. This game isn’t just about putting fires out, oh no, there’s much more to it than that. Fortunately you have access to water ladders, pumps and ambulances to help you in your efforts. Each fire … Continue reading Fire it up!

Heavily Scripted Space Opera!

The year is 2014. The humans have spread out among the solar system driven by the need for resources. As the Martian Diplomatic Convoy approaches the moon for an historic meeting with diplomats from Earth to settle their differences, it is suddenly blown out of space by unidentified armed ships. Needless to say war ensued. And this is where you enter, as either the Martian Colonists out to avenge the slaughter of their Diplomats, or the Earth forces out to get those upstart colonists back in line. Hegemonia: Legions of Steel is a space-based real time strategy depiction of the … Continue reading Heavily Scripted Space Opera!

A Decent Quest

It takes some guts to put out a puzzle game in a declining market that is rife with them. But it really takes guts to put one out that is based on a movie that was put out almost twenty years ago…and your name isn’t Lucas, that is. Auryn Quest is just that, and it is in many ways not what I expected. Based on The Neverending Story (it’s even hailed as Part I), this game takes you to various places in Fantasia to retrieve the Auryn and help the child-like Empress fight back the nothing…again. Must be like a … Continue reading A Decent Quest

A Great, but Difficult, War

So close, yet they missed the mark. Hopefully the review that follows will make this statement clear. Iron Storm begins in March of 1964 and World War I (yep that is not a typo) is still in full swing. You play the part of Second Lieutenant James Anderson, who has grown up with this war being all he knows, and he knows it VERY WELL. Anderson is called on to undertake a series of missions that will stop the leader of the opposition from unleashing a terrible weapon on the good guys. And YOU are responsible to make sure he … Continue reading A Great, but Difficult, War

Gore is Shooter 101 Class

Remember good ‘ole Doom? It was easy to learn with no tricky play. Just find weapon upgrades, ammo and health packs while blasting your opponents, and you were the master. Well with Gore : Ultimate Soldier that is all back with a vengeance! The premise is that street gangs in the US (controlled by MOB) have grown in strength and ability so that they now control neighborhoods and entire cities. To combat this the US Government, in the form of the UMC, has developed a new virtual training facility that takes raw recruits and turns them into sophisticated soldiers in … Continue reading Gore is Shooter 101 Class

Frank Herbert’s Dune Misses Big Time

Every now and then I come across a game and wonder "what the hell were they thinking?" Frank Herbert’s Dune is one of those games. Every aspect of the game was either rushed or just not given the TLC it needed. Whatever the reasons, this is one of the most lackluster games I’ve ever played. Not since Take 2’s 1994 abysmal "Hell: A Cyberpunk Thriller" and the 1996 bomb "Battlecruiser 3000AD" have I felt this strongly. The first obvious sign this product was rushed is the fact that the box, manual and Dreamcatcher’s website clearly state the game requirements must … Continue reading Frank Herbert’s Dune Misses Big Time

Somewhat Divided on Schizm

I don’t know how they do it, but Dreamcatcher always seems to find a new puzzle/adventure game just to keep me from being bored. Publishers of some of the best games in this genre ever (Traitors Gate, Cydonia, Safecracker – hey, while I have your attention, guys, where the heck is game two of The Forgotten series? I’ve been waiting on that one for almost two years) they never cease to surprise me in their ability to find the next one. In this case the game is called Schizm: Mysterious Journey. It takes place in 2083, ten months after humans … Continue reading Somewhat Divided on Schizm

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