We’ve all heard the same tried and true ways to shift pounds. While there’s a bunch of sensible methods you can employ, they all seem to revolve around two basic, boring ideas—diet and exercise.
But shifting the obvious aside for a moment, are there other, shall we say “less conventional” tricks you can use to shift that spare tire? You bet there are! Sure, they aren’t magic bullet solutions, but they may still be worth a shot.
Here’s five weird ways to lose weight without exercise.
1. That Crazy Wrap Thing
It’s probably a good idea to get the ball rolling with a product with “crazy” actually in the title. The crazy wrap thing, sold by the company, It Works is specifically designed for people who want just a little bit of toning and tightening without crunches and abstinence from chocolate cake.
You just open the pack, wrap your midriff up like a fleshy burrito and watch Mork and Mindy reruns (sitcom optional) for around forty five minutes.
Will 15 pounds of carefully gained blubber disappear as if by magic? Well, no. Will you appear to have lost an inch or two off your waistline and look a bit more toned for a while? Totally!
2. Sniff Stuff
Bear with me for a minute on this one! The theory behind sniff-induced weight loss is that certain smells are going to make you lose your appetite, at least temporarily.
Three oft-touted appetite sucking smells are apple, peppermint and banana. Others swear by lavender or other heavily floral scents. So it seems like, in a pinch you could even raid grandma’s perfume drawer!
While (shockingly) there isn’t a vast body of peer-reviewed research on how effective this method is, let’s face it sniffing the odd banana isn’t exactly going to do you any harm.
What can you lose (apart from dignity)?
3. Use the French Ribbon Method
I know what you’re thinking. Ooh la la! Sadly, the French ribbon method isn’t nearly as saucy as it sounds.
Here’s the idea in a nutshell. Grab a length of ribbon. Any color will do, but you’re going to need to make sure it’s rigid, unyielding and non-elasticated. If you’re unable to secure a sufficiently robust length of festive cordage, go git yerself a big ol’ length of yarn.
Then, tie that bad boy around your midriff before you go out for dinner. The rationale here is that by subjecting yourself to a constant (kind of annoying) reminder of your abdominal girth, you’ll avoid overeating.
Genius, n’est-ce pas?!
4. Drink Tons of Water
OK, so you’ve cling wrapped your belly. You’ve sniffed more bananas than you care to count and you were nearly arrested for public indecency while tying a large length of Christmas ribbon around your midriff in the public lavatory.
And you still haven’t met your weight loss goals.
It’s time to bring out the big guns.
Drinking water might be slightly less flamboyant than the above options, but there’s actually some pretty hard data to suggest it works like a charm.
First off, drinking water (especially cold water) can boost your metabolism by a whopping 30% for close to two hours. Faster metabolism = more calories burned = weight loss.
There’s a double-whammy effect though, because by drinking water you’re also filling up without consuming a single calorie. It’s a simple matter of feeling full more often throughout the day.
5. Invest in Weight Loss Cutlery and Crockery
If you’ve been chowing down at home with stubby little cutlery on earth-colored plates, you may have been sabotaging your weight loss efforts all along!
What you’re sitting on with short cutlery and warm colored plates is an eatin’ system which is all about getting as much food in your mouth in as little time as possible, all the while being blasted with colors which are screaming at your brain to feast heartily, for it is harvest time.
There’s (an admittedly kind of niche) theory that investing in long knives, forks and spoons is immediately going to slow you down.
This slowing effect is attributed to two factors. First, longer cutlery is harder to use. You’ll be forced to slow down just to ensure the delicious food morsel arrives at your mouth in one piece. Secondly, longer cutlery is more elegant. You’ll therefore be consumed with an overwhelming desire to slow down, savor your food and generally be posh and demur. Or so the theory goes.
Then there’s the issue of plate color. The problem with bright colored plates is that they’re sending a message to an ancient part of your brain which is conditioned to associate bright colors with yummy stuff. Very little blue food is delicious (yes, blueberries and some plums are an exception), so switching to blue plates will switch off that feasting reflex. Too easy!
We’re not going to lie. For most people, at some point in their weight loss journey they’re going to need to move around vigorously while avoiding the consumption of donuts.
Still, there’s no harm in trying a few extra techniques along the way. If nothing else, throwing on some cling wrap and adorning your midriff with celebratory ribbons is a good conversation opener! And besides, if it helps you shift a few extra pounds, what’s the harm in getting a bit weird from time to time?