Welcome back to Save State where it’s just in time for the spooky season. You can tell this because GiN has been running spooky game reviews all this week including Strange Antiquities, which is a very excellent, light horror adventure. You can also check out Silent Hill f, which is a glorious return to a very hardcore horror series.

Now, I should mention that I am not good with horror games. “But Vincent,” you may say, delightfully unaware that I’m using readers as a proxy to further elucidate, “haven’t you reviewed a number of horror games and spoken about how much you’ve loved Resident Evil as a series?” (And I also reviewed the aforementioned Strange Antiquities this week.) You’re right, dear readers whom I did not make up in my own head, I love Resident Evil because it balances out the frights with a decent selection of campy or humorous elements. I highly value the type of horror titles that don’t tend to overly rely on the Dane Cook of horror tropes, jump scares, which is why I can appreciate the ones that use atmospheric tension and suspense like Alone in the Dark or Tormented Souls.

That being said, it’s not like I’m completely against jump scares. Some games, even when they rely on them to a ridiculous degree, can still manage to provide a novel or interesting experience. That simple fact is why I present to you the subject of today’s column: Don’t Pee, a game about controlling yourself. Imagine this: You wake up in the middle of the night after drinking one too many beers, and you have to urinate. The grizzled voice of your main character, who sounds a lot like Solid Snake, narrates your adventure as you discover your bathroom locked, refrigerator chained up, and various objects around the house fall or make noise just enough to force you into quick time events to avoid wetting your pants.

Don’t Pee is roughly a half hour long, and I’d be doing a disservice to it if I talked any more about the events that transpire during its run time. It is, quite possibly, one of the funniest little horror adventures I’ve ever experienced, and I wanted to take a moment to recommend it to anyone who wanted to hear Solid Snake yell “Noooo!” because a kettle whistling startled him. There are some simple puzzles to solve, an apparent zombie outbreak, and lots of enjoyment to be had if you’re willing to shell out a dollar for a fun time.

Of course, this would be a very short column about the game of the week if it was just essentially, “This is humorous and horror adjacent, also mildly connected to the jump scares thing but funny.” So, I played a second horror game over the last couple weeks, just for you: No, I’m not a Human. This is an interesting little horror title where the sun’s rays during the day have become nearly lethal to human beings, and creatures known as Visitors have crawled up from beneath the surface of the earth and want nothing more than to kill humans.

No, I’m not a Human starts off with your protagonist alone in his house, and each night people will knock on the door requesting shelter from the day’s harsh sunlight. Not all of these are actually humans, and exactly zero of the people who show up at your doorstep will be normal. They all have their own personalities, and several have stories to tell. But it’s completely up to the whims of the game if you actually get to hear their story’s conclusion due to some mechanical compromises to challenge players.

You might be wondering if inviting people in can lead to all this trouble then why wouldn’t you just say no to everyone who comes by at night? Well, the answer to that is… if you’re alone in No, I’m not a Human, a large, nude Visitor will come, threaten you, and murder you if no one else is around to have your back. Being alone is suicide, effectively, and so is having a house full of Visitors. At several points of the adventure, news reports will reveal telltale signs of a Visitor, which will require you to spend some time during the daylight hours testing your guests to see if they’re a creature with the face of a human (or whatever passes for one in No, I’m not a Human anyway).

Your energy is limited, however, and many guests are randomized, so you’ll need to conduct some trial-and-error testing to weed out Visitors because if there are two or more in your house, they band together and start killing, one at a time, until you’re all that is left. It also doesn’t help that, even in the game, characters call the testing methods provided by the government agency inaccurate, with several of them being outright red herrings. Sometimes you’ll have guaranteed humans who fail three or four of the tests, and Visitors who fail one, if any. Sometimes it’s just as important to listen to the backstories of these various characters and make sure that the information they provide you matches up- the point of No, I’m not a Human is fear and paranoia after all.

Now, you may be thinking yet again, “What’s going to prevent me from bunkering down with just a few, select people that I know are safe?” The answer to that is random inspections by a government agency who yank people out of your home to test if they’re a Visitor. This government agent mechanic is necessary, and they show up on specific nights, but towards the latter end of the title, the government agent will take multiple people at random from your house at once. You can acquire notices that will force the agent to pick specific people, but there aren’t enough of them to keep certain people with you through the whole game if they have a hand in the ending you’re trying to achieve. The fact that the ending you’re pursuing in No, I’m not a Human could be cut short due to RNG is infuriating, sadly.

No, I’m not a Human blends 2D and 3D elements in a very interesting way. It takes place entirely within the protagonist’s domicile, and you navigate a 3D rendered hallway to reach 2D point-and-click segments that lie within each room of the house. The analog horror aesthetic, with fuzzy, banded colors and creepy, sometimes grotesque artwork for the characters really sells the atmosphere of paranoia that No, I’m not a Human is going for. The tension you feel in the house, as you test each person you let in, and struggling with whether or not you made the correct decision in shooting someone or letting them live which can only be answered each morning when you wake and smell a corpse in the house.

I enjoyed my time with No I’m not a Human. It was an interesting premise for analog horror, and the suspense gnawing at me, causing me to second guess the decisions I committed to, made for a great gaming experience. For those who want a fun little horror scenario with creepy atmosphere, this is a solid recommendation. If you want deeper lore and a resolution to the disaster at large, however, that’s not what this title is. In No, I’m not a Human, you’re just a dude in a house trying to survive while sketchy and uncomfortable events transpire around you, and that’s all you are and all it is. Really, isn’t that the most terrifying thing of all?

That being said, I think we can bring this entry of Save State to a close. Remember to have your Halloween candy in moderation, especially if you’re a parent: Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be. Until next time!