Well, dear Play chums, another year has passed and another Christmas looms. My seasonal shopping and present wrapping has been done, but the spirit of Christmas has yet to take hold. The endurance test that is the office Christmas party takes place this Friday, which got me thinking about people I'd actually like to have Christmas dinner with. So, to save you from the lamentable Christmas round-up, I have selected a list of game characters and industry personalities to grace the ultimate seasonal get together.
First of all we must have rules. No characters from licensed games, so no Tony Hawks or Matrix characters (thank God) and sadly no Buffy (alack and alas). But if we included these characters, then we might as well invite the whole of Hollywood and that's not the point. So, to see Wolverine at my dinner table, you will have to come to my Marvel heroes Christmas feast.
Party guests you would love to invite round for Christmas festivities:
Christie, from DOA – for that – "so what do you do" question. I'm an assassin – ice-breaker type situation. She'd also be rude to all the other guests, which would add interest.
Solid Snake needs no introduction – for a bit of edgy coolness and there's no telling what kind of flashbacks he'd have after a couple of gins"
Mario – for a hint of the patronising social elevation that characterises the middle class dinner party. Ooh, a plumber, how simply salt of the earth!
Charles Cecil – the master of narrative-led games would be good for some fireside storytelling after dinner
Sonic – if things get dull, give him some sugar and watch him go. He might break one of the good lamps though"
Meemee and Aiai, from Super Monkey Ball – after dinner games are a staple of Christmas day and with these two on board there'll be no end to the fun. Monkey bowling and monkey racing with optional betting would get the party started.
Ulala, from Space Channel 5 – everyone's favorite roving reporting will be the ultimate party animal. Push back the rug and watch her shake her stuff as the party goes into the wee hours
Pac man – he'd eat all the fruit, but make up for it by bringing the power pills
Party guests you wouldn't dream of inviting round for Christmas festivities:
Sam Fisher, from Splinter Cell – he'd rappel through the window and play hide and sneak with Snake in a futile attempt at one-upmanship.
Any of the girls from Silent Hill – trouble seems to follow them wherever they go. And all manner of hell beast gate-crashing is always a party killer
Peter Molyneux – enough of the god-sims already. Nobody likes a bore.
Jeff Minter – as interesting as I'm sure llama farming is, I can't be doing with cooking nut roast at Christmas (I suspect he's a veggie)
Link, from Zelda – he'd just smash up the furniture looking for chocolate money
Most likely to be found at the end of night having a post coital cigarette with Snake: Ulala, saying, "That was fab-u-lous!"
Most likely to go home early: Christie, once everyone was too drunk to register her barbed comments.
Most likely to be found drinking brandy over an existentialist conversation: Charles Cecil and Aiai
Least likely to be able to make sense of the world at first light: Sonic and Pacman